You could close down Moe's or the Kwik-E-Mart...

And nobody would care....

I found myself singing the Simpsons' "Save the Burlesque House" song in the shower this morning for some incredibly strange reason. Seriously... I have no idea...

Anyway, I thought this would provide a chance to publicly test my Simpsons in Syndication Theory, which states:

If you think about any Simpsons episode, it will invariably air within the next two-to-three weeks due to the myriad of syndication slots said show occupies.

Cases in point:

Last year, I had a similar shower experience, only this time it was, "Well Mr. Burns had done it. The Power Plant had won it, with Roger Clemens clucking all the while..." The very next day, the WB aired "Homer at the Bat."

While in Indiana, I was really jonesing for the "22 Short Films about Springfield" Episode, and sure enough, it aired within the month.

I have plenty of other examples, but I think you get the point. It's really incredible how often it seems to happen, especially with nearly 400 episodes floating around out there.

Anyway, I'd ask everyone to keep their eyes peeled for the Maison Derriere... er... "Back House." It should make an appearance some time around Easter.

Thanks.

All Feet on Dek

Yeah, for some reason, they spell deck hockey without the "c."

Anyhoo… I had my first practice on Saturday for the upcoming Pittsburgh Sports League Spring Season, and I have to say I'm pretty pleased with the results.

First off, the teammates I met were all swell individuals. We had a guy wearing a "66" jersey, and wouldn't you know it, he was kinda good. I'm hoping that after two or three more practices, I'll have come along far enough to wear a "29" or a "4" jersey. I definitely made it publicly known that I want to be the Phil Bourque or Troy Loney of our squad…

We played a bunch of chuckleheads that were already warming up on the deck (I'm calling it that because it was concrete and not the patented "dek" created by Mylec). We were beating them 8-3 when I finally had to leave.

As for an honest assessment of my personal performance (having not played since I was in junior high)… pleasant surprise but plenty of room for improvement. I played mostly defense, but after pinching in to keep the ball in the zone, I switched to right wing to compensate for the guy who shifted back to the point. I took advantage of that lone offensive opportunity to roof a rebound and give us a 4-0 lead. Hopefully the coach was watching.

I never played much defense as a kid (who among us really did?), so I was a little shady on my assignments. Chief among my concerns were screening my goaltender, picking the correct passing lanes, and not getting hit in the nuts… I'd like to think I did pretty well on all three counts (and especially well on the third).

I finished the game with a +/- rating of +3, so all in all, not too shabby. I'd still rather play forward, though, allowing me to light up the scoreboard and have access to all that dek-hockey-groupie tail…

(Fitness note to those of you who care—you know who you are, you H&M bitches): I'm plenty sore, but that's to be expected. Another solid week or two of practices and some extra-curricular running *sigh* should see an end to that. Problem areas: left shoulder and groin, despite significant stretching before and after.

Sweetest western since Sneaky Fitch...

I just received the link the Life is Short trailer which is based on my ten minute play.

When you click on the link, just scroll down a little bit.

Yep. That's pretty much it. Hope you like it.

On a funny side note, the owner of the pub in which this was filmed seemed kinda miffed that there was a "gay cowboy porn" being shot in his establishment.

Disclaimer: The Logistics of Heroism is not about gay cowboys, since, you know, that's been done to death in the past year or so.